Sunday, August 26, 2012

Breakups, Ben&Jerry's, and Communication

I am currently going through a difficult breakup. We've been "broken up" for almost three weeks, and yet it's hard to get it through my head, and his head, that we are done. I even sent him a link to Taylor Swift's song "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together." I regret sending that song, even if it is eerily similar to what I was going through with the guy. 

Trying to get by day by day after a breakup like mine isn't easy. I've had at least two pints of Ben&Jerry's ice cream. And I have a pint of Chunky Monkey sitting in the freezer right now. I'm sure I'll eat it soon, before any of my siblings. I can see why people advise eating Ben&Jerry's after a breakup...

Food has never been my escape from reality, has never been something I turn to for happiness. Instead, I always turn to writing. I don't know why I can sit for hours and pour my thoughts out on paper, or even type out my thoughts. Words just come naturally to me. I can sit with a pen and paper in hand and words flow. Most of the time it's just my random thoughts, bouncing all over the place, kind of like they are now.

Sometimes, I know words are my barrier. I hide myself from the world through the written word. They're a natural guard. I know I'm not the only one, but I can get down on myself for not being able to communicate as well as I'd like to. Especially when it comes to various relationships, like the one I just got out of. Communication, or lack thereof, is a big factor in relationships. You actually have to talk, actually have to have conversations instead of just eating meals and watching television together.

I was always told when I was younger and am still often told I have a big mouth. Most people laugh if they ever hear that, since I am a small person. But it's true. I talk a lot. I communicate a lot. It might not be with just my words, but also with my face. My face is pretty expressive even when I try to keep it from showing anything. 

I've been blessed with the gift of words by my Heavenly Father. Maybe that's why it's so easy for me to turn to reading my Bible or to my journal when I need an escape. Some days are harder for me when it comes to reading my Bible or journaling, but I always find myself running to my journal and Bible after a long and stressful day.

Breakups, Ben&Jerry's, and communication. Yes, an odd topic for a first blog post. But that's who I am; random, odd, weird. My thoughts cross, and the natural way they bounce around make sense to me. 

"Good communication does not mean that you have to speak in perfectly formed sentences and paragraphs. It isn't about slickness. Simple and clear go a long way." ~John Kotter

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9